Change
by BookluverNell
Summary: My name is Darren Valdez. i believe in change. that it will always come, and you have the power to decide how. i believe i can change the world. and change can only come in the most power things :love & death
1. Chapter 1

Change

Change. It's what we all read about in books, non-fiction or fiction. It's what dream about, aspire for. It's what I've always dreamt about; all I ever wanted. A chance to fight is a risk I would surely take. I say, if death is to come then let it take the weak, the ones who cannot fight, even for freedom. That's what i always thought, and that's what changed.

-0-

I was out in the market the day I first saw her. I was in a new unfamiliar world. Sweet scents and vibrant colours could've blinded but when I saw her I could've been anywhere, even home. I was sent to America to seek money to bring home money for my family, a mission almost forgotten when I saw her.

She was beautiful. Here, I have seen so many people trying to look beautiful with layers of makeup and little clothing, large chests and small hips, but she wasn't like them. I came into the shop and she didn't even look up and try to batter her lashes up at me. I could see no makeup on her face and could tell she wasn't dressing herself to impress anyone, not that she looked bad. She was beautiful.

"Daren Valdez?" Her voice was silky. She still didn't look up.

"At your service." I responded.

"You're right on time." she still sounded blank, even though she had just complimented me. "My father is waiting in the back."

-30 mins later-

I had scored my first job in America for 20 dollars per hour, and all I needed to do was assist Aleeysha, the lady who greeted me when I entered. My boss's daughter, isn't that just great?

I should probably tell you why I had come to America in the first place. I live on an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean that only the residents on our island know about. Our technology is higher grade than the majority of population would think possible, which is why no one knows about it. The reason for such privacy is because when our original leader found out about the rest of the world, he thought that we were better. Back then they would just bribe whoever found our island, but now we didn't need that.

Perhaps, the reason our nations are in the state that they are in now is because of that same leader hundreds of years back. He put the idea in our heads that we could be better than others. That's why we are in war. When he died, our nation split in two. There were twin leaders who had a quarrel over which one is better. Everyone took sides.

Where am I in this war? I am with my namesake "Darren Stong". I will fight until I die, but right now I had a family to support. My father was growing ill, the only remedy was expensive.


	2. Shot

**Chapter 2: Shot**

I went to work every day dutifully, for I could not afford to lose this job. It was hard knowing what went where but working beside Aleeysha made it all the easier. I found myself glancing at her a lot, watching her graceful movements. I told myself, I was just trying to get a hang of things.

I was working at the cash registers, when Aleeysha's hand brushed mine. I froze, and then looked at her. She didn't look at me, though; instead she reached over to get a pen. I felt queasy, and, I admit, a little disappointed.

Everyday my work got a little sloppier. The more I learned how to do it by watching Aleeysha the worse I got. I decided to try another method. I did every job I could that didn't involve being anywhere near her. I had to get it together.

I didn't work. The more deprived of her I was, the more restless I became. When I wasn't with her, my mind was. I'd be a fool not to realise; I was falling for her, more and more every day.

My boss came in, his face a mask, which was the perfect mixture of pity and resolve; I knew I was going to be fired. He opened his mouth to speak, but the sound of another man yelling for all the money, gun flashing replaced the condemning words.

The man wore all black, and a ski mask; the typical apparel of a robber. I remember the panic in the guy's eyes. _Must be a newbie_, I thought dimly. Aleeysha refused to give him the money, and the panic in his eyes intensified. Then in a flash it was gone, replaces with anger, at the same level of intensity.

If this were a movie, I knew I would be cheering on Aleeysha with all I had, but if this were a movie, the robber wouldn't have raised his gun, trained on her heart, so shakily. I saw her tense. The robber cocked his gun. "I'll give you 5 seconds. Five, four…"

The next thing I knew I was in front of her. I heard my boos and his daughter yell in protest but it was too late.

"one." Sharp pain exploded right below my shoulder. My world swayed; it took all of my willpower not to go unconscious. More pain exploded in me, two, three more times, in the chest. I couldn't breathe without hurting.

The last thing I saw was the wild rage in the robber's eyes, when he made to shoot again, and there was a click, signifying his empty gun. He ran out, while I crumpled to the floor. They were safe for now, and that's all that mattered. I felt tears on my face, but they weren't mine. I closed my eyes, and everything faded.

-0-

Everything was still fuzzy. I saw my mom, dad, and brother waiting for me. There was a small part of me saying it was impossible, since my mom died giving birth to me, and my dad was sick. I was too happy to think. My dad was up and beaming healthiness. My mom was happy and as beautiful as ever. My brother wasn't ruled by grief and anger.

Aleeysha held me in her arms, kissed me, told me everything was okay. I was so happy I couldn't breathe. Then it was literal; I actually couldn't breathe. I clutched my throat, and grasped for air but none would reach my lungs. I looked over to my family and Aleeysha and saw they were still staring at me smiling and having. Behind their eyes I saw amusement and malice, as if they did this to me. If I could breathe I would've screamed. Panic overwhelmed me.

The last thing I heard was Aleeysha's voice. "Goodbye."

Then I woke up.


	3. Success

Chapter 3:Success

I inhaled deeply again grasping for air that I had no trouble taking in. I was in a hospital room and the steady beat of the monitors in my ears. I looked around expecting everyone still to be in the room, frowning at my survival. Why would they do such a thing?

There wasn't anyone in the room with me, and with a rush of relief I realised it had only been a dream. My family wouldn't betray me. I felt wetness on my cheeks, and caught on to the fact that I was crying; incredibly relieved for obvious reasons: 1) I was alive and 2) everyone I loved weren't trying to kill me.

I rubbed away the tears on my cheeks just as the door burst open. My heart skipped a beat when Aleeysha strode in flushed.

My boss was whining, "You barely even left his bedside, come on!"

"He saved my life and nearly died! I have every right to be here!"

"Hi" I croaked.

They both whirled on me, surprise on his face and relief on hers. I tried to sit up; the pain in my chest was outstanding-

I opened my eyes and Aleeysha was in front of me holding my hand, eyes wide with concern.

I still was a little disorientated. "Let me guess, I just fainted?"

She laughed a little. "My dad went to get the doctor."

-0-

After the doctor sentenced me to bed rest for a week, I was _finally _left I alone with Aleeysha.

"Honestly, I can't thank you enough but you really didn't have to do that. Jump in front of a gun? Smart going."- She sighed-"WAIT, no that`s not the point. The point is that I if I wasn't that unbelievably stubborn you wouldn't have needed to risk your life."

"It's all right, really, and besides it was really brave of you."

"What can I do In return?" she asked, her eyes begging me.

I shrugged, "No, its fine." I lied, there was one thing still tugging at me, but I tried to let it slide. It was a selfish idea and surely something I could keep without

_``Nothing? _Come on, there must be something?"

I discovered that she needed to do this for me, or she would not forgive herself; and therefore I owed it to her. I tried to think of something decent. I set my mind on keeping my job as a favour, but when I opened my mouth these words came out, the one thing that nagged me blocked everything out: "A date?"

Everything in her complexion spoke surprise, I saw, as I glanced away uneasy. I looked up at her again and she looked exasperated, almost even angry. "Did you seriously have to nearly die to ask me that?"

I smiled weakly, my voice sounded thin and smaller than I wanted to admit. "You could've just said no"

"That didn't mean I was going to say no." she grinned slyly.

My spirits rose instantly, yet was I asked, just to be sure. "So that's a yes right?"

She sighed, still smiling. "Yes, Darren, that's a yes."

I knew I was smiling the biggest smile I could manage.

-0-

We had fast food during our date because that wasn't really the part I was looking forward to.

"Oh come on; please just tell me, you said we're almost there anyways!"

"Yes, but that would completely spoil the surprise, now wouldn't it?" I replied to every whine or reason. She crossed her arms and stooped her tracks, chin jutting out. It was the middle of winter and I knew she was freezing, but I couldn't help it. I turned and proceeded s if I hadn't seen her, then bent down to "lace up my boots", then in one swift motion I brought the snowball I made, turned and got her on her shoulder. (Even though I could've gotten her in the face, for how shocked she was)

She chased me pelting me with snowballs, just as I'd planned. I led her through the snowy expanse of a park then to a frozen lake, on locals use. Everything looked perfect, and I could tell its charm hadn't been lost on her, when she stopped, the snow in her hand falling through her fingers.

"Want to go skating?" I asked. The look she gave me was enough of an answer, so we spent the rest of our afternoon together clumsily making our way around the arena, no one to disturb our loud laughter with.

-0-

I was reinstated as the bodyguard at our shop, even with no experience, at least I had the means to deserve; though this time my bulletproof vest secured at all times. They hired a new employee to take my place, a strapping man named Colin that looked always so innocent, like a lost puppy.

I don't think my boss, Jackson (he decided now that I could call him by his first name, now that we were all practically family), could have been anymore supporting in our relationship.


	4. Come Home

Chapter 4: Come Home

*Colin's point of view*

I have been totally in love with Aleeysha since preschool, and have managed to snag a job in her dad's shop. Surely I could win over her dad with my charming skills. But what of that, other guy, Darren I think. He has her totally smitten and even worse he doesn't look like he notices, because he's just as smitten.

I'll bet you, he hasn't even tried. He just some guy who can thinks he can get any girl he wants; probably just to mess with her. He can't possibly care about her as much as I do, considering he looks foreign, and I've never seen her with him until now. It disgusting how he just sweeps her off her feet, kisses her in such a cliché way, it's disturbing.

But no, I'll not have it that way. I'll have her totally mine, and there is no way that idiot Darren take her away. He doesn't deserve her. She deserves someone like me, and I know just how to do it.

*Back to Darren's point of view*

I was on break, in the back of the shop when my phone shrilled. I checked my pockets but remember, I had left my on the counter. I got up planning to get my phone, when Aleeysha burst in holding my phone.

I knew immediately something was wrong. Her eyes were sad, but her whole face was contorted with rage. I did my best to comfort her; I tried to slip my arm around her waist but she stepped out of my grasp.

"What's wrong?" I grabbed for her hand but she turned away from me.

Her words were clipped with anger. "You should know."

"Come on; tell me, so I can make you feel better."

"Sure, lying to me will make me feel a whole lot better."

"I don't know what you're talking about." She was seriously starting to scare me. I tried to make me face her, but I couldn't touch her. "Please, you're being totally unfair."

"UNFAIR!" she screeched, then her voice returned to its normal tone, although a bit shakier this time. "You're the one who's been unfair to me all along."

"Are you even going to tell me?"

"Why should I? You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"No, I don't. Otherwise we wouldn't be wasting our time on this useless conversation."

At this, she said nothing. On the outside, I may have seemed calm, maybe even angry, but inside, I was a tide of confusion and hurt. This was our first fight.

"Fine, if you won't tell me, then there's no point in being persistent."-a sob wracked her body, but I didn't rush to clutch her in my arms, no matter how much I wanted to-"Can I at least have my phone back?"

She set it on the table between us, her arm was shaking. I could cry for how much I wanted to be able to comfort her. I pushed it down, while I grabbed my phone. My hand lingered, by her closeness, but she was already too far from my reach.

I check my phone, to find it opened to a message, I've never seen before. I trembled with rage, so much that bile rose in my throat I swallowed it down. I didn't know what made me angrier; the fact that someone framed me for cheating on Aleeysha, or that she believed it.

"You seriously believe that I could cheat on you?"

"I caught you red-handed. There's no denying it"

"Oh God, this is all too wrong. I swear I've never seen this message. I'm not cheating on you with whoever this person is."

"What about the other messages? The opened ones?"

"What? I've been framed, Aleeysha. I'm your damn security guard, and your boyfriend, and you can't trust me?"

"I did trust, Darren, just not anymore."

I closed the distance between us, her back was stilled turned. I didn't touch her, but it was as close as you can get; instead I leaned in and whispered in her ear. "What will it take to get you back? I'll do it."

"Nothing." It rang finality and coldness; she stalked out of the room.

-0-

I stood at my post for the rest of the day, staring down everyone enter and exit. I can't say I was in a good mood. I felt like picking a fight with every couple that entered, but in all honesty, I was so off that I probably couldn't win any of them.

Finally I was discharged, as my shift was done. I did not wait to drop off Aleeysha, to kiss her goodnight; I just left. Jackson told me I did not need to come back tomorrow; I guess he heard about the fight.

It turns out I wouldn't have gone to work anyways. I got a letter in the mail, with no return address and I knew it was from home. I knew it wouldn't be good, after all its very risky sending mail from an unknown place; I wonder how much they had to pay the person. I was right. There were only 2 sentences in the letter. It was brief, and unspecific. It read: Father's dead. Come home, immediately.


	5. Home

A/N: I'm sooooo sorry but i have to write these builder/filler chapters, it's okay if you do not read this story anymore, cous right now its soooooooo horrible. If you do then, I hope it's worth it for you.

Chapter 5: Home

I must've been in a state of adrenaline because by the time I was at the bus station I couldn't feel anything. Everything was drained out of me. On the trip there; when I was awake it was like a void of nothingness; unsettling, distracting and unproductive. Asleep, I was restless, and almost the same as I am awake. It was horrible.

I am in a state of nothingness, and did everything to get out of it. I thought of the hope of ever seeing Aleeysha happy with me again, when the reality was that was probably never going to happen, because after I'm going to join the army; not that I minded. I thought of my dad's illness. Sometimes called the Black Fever or the Rusalka Fever, a fever so old treatment was never found; and so rare medicine was barely made, nevertheless expensive. Not working. Then I thought of seeing my mom again, even if she was dead. That led of thoughts of suicide; which repulsed me, unless it was a sacrifice. I thought of how it was my fault my dad died, not getting enough money in time. It was like the fire of hurt, anger and disbelief already died down; while coaxing a fire from ashes is impossible.

I almost gave a man 10 bucks instead of the hundred he asked for, for his boat. I asked for a row boat. I don't know why, but the rhythmic beat it has helps. Forward and back you row, while the boat rocks inexplicably irregular motions. I must sound insane to you, talking about motions of a row boat; I honestly don't know why I feel compelled to, anyways.

I arrive at home, which is basically everything you'd imagine an incredibly high-tech place. Almost everything is white, too efficient, and too clean, machines do almost all the work, except for the ones that "build character/muscle". It's like this place was thought through before someone actually made it. In case you're wondering, this island was manmade. The whole island floats with aluminum and is supported at the bottom where people actually live subsea. We're lucky enough to live above see, because our family has lived her for generations. Of course, the entire island has been modified since then.

In my house, there is an ominous silence in the house, as if the house itself was acknowledging what happened. The house was dark inside, so I went to the only room lit up, my brother's room.

"Funeral's tomorrow," I have no idea how he knew I came in. "Get some rest."

"Sure," I couldn't think of anything better, but my brother usually wasn't this… stiff. "Hey nick?"

"Yeah?"

"You too."

That night was by far one of the worst in my life. My sleep was plagued by nightmares of being awake in a dark world. I was alone. And everyone I passed by looked like someone I lost, from behind. When I'd try and see if they were who I thought they were, they'd hiss and cuss. For some reason, my brother was there too. And then all of a sudden they were all facing, the ones I lost, but they were tall, large, and looming. Their eyes morphed into eye's of a snake, they told me they didn't want me, I didn't belong, I shouldn't have come. Then they took out their guns and shot at me. Neither of them missed. My vision blurred.

I woke up. The gunshot from my dream ringing in my ears, echoing with the patter of rain outside; it almost made me feel like my dream was real. I had the thickest comforter in the room but I still shiver.

It's 5am, and I don't think there's any point in going back to sleep. The funeral's at 1, so I had plenty of time to kill.

-After I killed plenty of time-

The funeral was beginning. I wasn't numb anymore, not in the least. I guess after seeing your dad who you haven't seen in a month; healthy in at least two, in a coffin, it finally hits home. I know this sounds babyish but I haven't hurt this bad in a while; in fact I think I hurt less getting shot, because adrenaline made the pain easier. The only time I ever hurt this bad, was when I came home crying, because I learned I was the only kid without a mom; the only kid that had to beg for his dad to tell him what happened, and to find out his mom died at birth, because of him. Don't you just feel peachy now?

Having people come to the podium to talk about how much they miss him, and how great he was, how strong he was with the illness, was the absolute worst thing about the funeral. They went up to talk about when he was alive; ever so diligently reminding me that he was dead. Some stories made me smile, just a little, then I realise that he's dead.

It was my turn to go up, and honestly I had no clue what to say. I was supposed to have a script, but nothing seemed worthy to say in front of his grave, so I guess I'll just have to make it up as I go along. "Hi everyone, I'm sorry I don't have anything to say but if I really had anything to say I would say to say right now it would be that he's dead. He'll never be there in the morning sipping his coffee reading his newspaper, enthusiastically talking about war strategies, inspiring to make a difference, to stand in the front line, ready to die for everyone, or to smile at me when I'm crying because he knows there's nothing he could say to make me feel better. He told me once that life is like speech, and you have to figure out what yours is going to be about…uhm, that's all." I ran from the podium.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Since my dad died, there's only been one thing that this place left for me; the war. I was only seventeen, but before my dad got sick I was trained to be at least his age. If you're wondering how I got out of the country at 17, let's just say I wasn't the only one. Many people offered their sympathy and pity when they heard of my dad's condition and I'm not proud but its true; I took a slight advantage of them.

When I enlisted, I knew I was too young, not even a full adult. I didn't care, I knew I could be a part of the war; that I'd survive. Therefore I wasn't surprised I was summoned to the war center.

A man was waiting for me when I got there. He was tall, muscular, and of course tough-looking. He was dressed for combat, and he had a buzz cut. He had a toothpick in his mouth and a scar running the width of his neck, I'd hate to think how he got it. "Mr. Valdez?" He rumbled.

"Yes sir." I stood taller and held out my hand out for him to take. I wasn't going to show him I was afraid, because I needed to show him I wasn't afraid. He glanced at my hand but didn't take it. His facial expression resembled a stone. I kept my hand there, to show him he was not going to treat me like dirt or intimidate me. Finally he took my hand, and I swear I saw a flash of amusement in his eyes.

"Do you have any idea why I called you here?"

"Yes sir, I understand that I am too young to be a part of this war, but sir I-"

"You what? You think you are better than the full grown men and women trained to kill you in this war?" He yelled at me. Any trace of amusement in his eyes was replaced by fury.

I didn't flinch; in fact I looked as steadily in his eyes as I could. "Sir, my father served in your war and-"

He interrupted, yet again. "What difference is that going to make? Your father wasn't 17 when he enlisted."

"I was getting to that, sir. You see, my father trained me before he died." I willed my voice not to crack at the last part.

"Enough for you to think you could survive out there?"

"I believe, sir, I could be serving front lines" I died a little inside, quoting my dad.

He looked at me a long time. "Then I guess we should make sure you not wrong." His tone shouldn't have given me any hope, so I didn't show how excited I was. First, he took me to a shooting range. From 50 feet away, I still shot point blank. He wore the same expression, but I knew I'd merited myself hope. I could disarm a bomb in less than 30 seconds of every kind they gave me. I had the best time in the fitness test.

"You did exceptionally well in all the tests, but you're still underage." He said after all the tests were done. My heart dropped.

I looked down for the first time the entire time I was there. "Yes sir."

"Unless, you could be one of our strategists, until you're of age."

My heart jumped right back up to my throat. My dad told me over and over again that you could send a million soldiers but if you didn't have a strategy it wouldn't matter. "What would I have to do sir?"

"How would you plan a war?"

Easy. "Bomb the banks, all of them. The war is practically over if you have no money to fund yourself."

He nodded slowly, as if he were making up his mind. "You are in. Be here 7:00 am sharp. You are dismissed."

I went home to celebrate. It was just me and my brother, and a couple of my dad's friends. I started off good, but it was clear how wrong it was that my dad wasn't here to celebrate with us. The grief was so fresh, but we all pretended it wasn't so obvious. I ended the party earlier than everyone expected, saying I had to report in early tomorrow. The truth was I couldn't stand it anymore.


	7. Rampage

Chapter 7: Rampage

Working as part of the strategists in the war was okay, I guess. I liked being part of it, but it still bothered me that I couldn't actually go and follow through with any of the ideas we talked about. They didn't bomb the banks like I said, but the head of the team said he was saving it for something. Being the youngest part of the team I was made fun of a lot, and I wasn't taken seriously, but, hey, I'm only seventeen, what do I expect? I mainly thought over their ideas, pointed things out they may have missed, but let's face it 30-year-old verses me; they didn't miss much.

With my birthday only months away, I stayed behind after work every day and trained. Only the head of weaponry knew.

One day he looked at me weirdly and asked "What's so exciting about war?"

"How much it changes the world" I said simply and honestly.

"What about how much it changes a person?" I was perplexed. It must've shown on my face but he just shook his head. I'll never understand him.

-0-

Finally my birthday came, and the first thing I did when I arrived was inquire to enlist. The war commander beamed, as did the head of weapons. I went to training and that was that. I was in, ready to achieve my dream…and my father's too.

Change is going to come, and it's obvious that it's not going to be through love; we're going to have to see how many people have to die before they finally get the right idea in their heads. Whoops, I got a little off track.

-0-

Everyone was almost ready to faint because we were finally ready for field missions. We had to take out a couple of the cities surrounding the capital. It's the moment we were all waiting for.

Riding in our vehicle to our destination I was almost giddy with excitement. And then the realization of dying and killing people and how terrifying it all is exploded with the vehicle in front of mine. We hit a roadside bomb, specially designed to only detonate one vehicle, although I can't imagine why.

Our vehicle screeches to a stop as the soldiers in spill out onto the road. Where a vehicle that was filled with enthusiastic soldiers was replaced by a mess of bloody flesh torn to pieces and melted fragments of metal that used to be the vehicle.

I close my eyes and turn away but it's no use because the faces and names of the people that exploded appear behind my closed lids. I think of their faces right when we set off for the mission and then open my eyes to see their broken bodies.

That's when the shooting started. Anger exploded in me; hate was burning in my chest, almost actually painful. This wasn't a video game, or a simulation. This was real; real people wanting to murder real people, real people taking advantage of people's death. I don't even know how I thought I was going to enjoy the sight, but I know I'm going to fight in it.

I picked up my gun and shot anything that supported a gun poised to kill my crew. Blood splatter and cries of agony, which usually has me worried or at least a little flustered didn't register in my mind. They tipped the balance I just made it equal. There were no guns aiming at us now.

I got in our vehicle, and waited for them to get in, because they were gaping. I realised I had killed at least 10 people in less than a couple minutes. I shrugged it off, what else was I supposed to do? Burst into tears because I murdered them, when they we're ready to kill us after they had just killed my own? I had no reason not to. Finally we drove for an hour to a temporary base camp and settled for the night.

-0-

Well, I got to tell you, today just isn't my day, and for your satisfaction, I'll explain it to you in exact detail.

As soon as we walked into camp, the first thing I noticed were the grave glances in our direction, maybe because only half of the expected people arrived and they figured they were dead; after all this is a war. I was then summoned to talk to the commander of the camp, so I figured he just wanted to hear more of the accident; he was trying to figure out as much as he could about their techniques. I was wrong.

I walked into the office and noticed everything about it was wrong. The air was tense, everyone looked mournful, people didn't look me in the eye, and everything was calm, too calm. The sergeant major had close-clipped grey hair that matched his dark eyes, which always had a guarded look in them. He always had a grim expression, his weathered face lined.

"Private, I've got bad news for you." He addressed me, as soon as I reached his desk.

"Yes sergeant?" I grind my teeth together, to keep from fidgeting, because I had no idea what he could be talking about.

"Your brother died of a similar tactic you encountered yesterday. I'm sorry."

At first I didn't understand what he was saying, because my mind could barely process what he was saying. I forgot the risk my brother was at, doing the same as I was. I collapsed in the chair behind me; I almost forgot about him. But immediately grief was turned to rage. I stood up so fast the chair flew back, and I'm pretty sure I scared sergeant.

"Calm down, Private. I have decided if you wish to take a leave, you may, but I can't guarantee another shot."

"No, you need to send me on a mission right away."


	8. No One want to be Wrong

A/N: a few warnings. I revised the story a bit. The Jordan's are the people fighting the other side of the war, which I didn't give a name until now. Sorry I didn't post in a while.

Chapter 8: Everyone hates being wrong

"Private are you sure, you'll be able to handle yourself? We have to make sure this will not have a hazardous effect on your team."

"Yes Sergeant. It gives me more reason to fight. I'll have someone to fight for."

He looked at his files for a second, and responded. "We can you're your team to the city just east of here, not very big, as you're still fresh from training."

My team and two other teams left for Daith City at noon, but not with same giddy feeling we had when we left headquarters. We blazed through the half the city until the Jordan's showed up and started defending themselves.

Beside me, one of my men dropped to the floor dead. He was stabbed the back with a pipe by one of the locals. No one was paying any attention to them anymore; we really only saw the Jordan's as competitors.

I stopped thinking. I grabbed for the pipe and pulled it away roughly. I swung at him repeatedly until blood was the only thing recognisable from the mess. By that time the Jordan's were fleeing and the sun had been setting.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I had almost stuck against it with the bloody pipe until I realised it was Jacob. Jacob had been the oddball in all of the team. He was the quietest during training. When the car exploded and the Jordan's started attacking He gave a knowing look, like that was all he was thinking about staring at the mass of melted metal and human fragments. But I would never mistake him for gentle. I had never seen so many ways to kill with only one hand as I had seen him do in training. I had a feeling he was the only one who knew something about what the war was going to be like.

"That's a little overkill, don't you think?" His tone was light and we could've laughed like it was a joke, but we were both serious, because it's hard to laugh in front of the bloody mess I made out of a living person.

I dropped the pipe and walked back with him to our vehicle.

On the way back, I was pounded by my teammates. They kept telling how that was manslaughter and that I could get removed the force for that. I was in the back with Jacob and I knew he didn't agree with what I did either but he didn't say anything.

I clenched my fists on my lap and he just put his hand over them and said only loud enough for me to hear. "You don't want to go picking more fights" I listened and I ignored my team until we got back.

-0-

I went on more missions like the one in Daith City, each one getting closer and closer to the main city. Each one taking longer to secure, each more dangerous and each one lost more lives. Each one I had killed more in. It killed me a little inside, but I didn't mind because it meant I was still human; that I still had a sense of morality that didn't let me enjoy revenge as much as I should have.

I heard somewhere that I should've known the losses of war. I should've been prepared. Whoever said that was probably right, but in war everyone always hopes for the best-case scenario—hoped so much they ended up believing it. Why do you think everyone is so excited in training? Because you don't realise this until your teammates are lying dead while you're still standing trying to do something about it.

I say teammates because this is all a game. In the end it doesn't matter how many people die, are injured, and are left stranded in some way by their country. It's all about the country that wins and your tributes to them. We are just mindless pawns, I didn't mind, as long as we were winning, because I had thought nothing to lose anymore.

I had thought wrong.

-0-

Gunshot cracked, explosions blasted, screams and terror surrounded me. Ah, the sensations of war. It's been months, almost a year since Daith City, and my first field mission. I had convinced myself that everything was all right, or at least I got used to it. The city we were in was the closest to the main city, but we were prepared and were slaughtering this city.

We were just about ready to leave, about to cross the gate, when a figure was thrown across our path, throwing its arms to either side of itself leaving no protection for its body. Through the ratty clothing, mangled hair, scrawny build, we realised it was a woman. There was a ring of familiarity to her and then I realised who it was.

Aleeysha.

Something was terribly wrong; this girl wasn't the strong, sensible, sure, put-together and focussed lady I had fallen for. She was the opposite and I was completely shell-shocked. I watched her get knocked out by Jacob from behind.

.


	9. Dramatic

Chapter 9- Dramatic

-Aleeysha-

Across both my wrists, for my mom and dad; across the inside of my elbows, for my brother and sister; across my thighs, for my home and for my friends, I dug the knife deep into me. It hurt but not nearly as much as what they represent. Red was the only colour I see. I looked down on myself, mutilated and bloody and it felt good to finally show what I felt on the outside. It was all because of the war, because it took everything that gave me a reason to live, but I won't let it take me too. I'll take my own life.

Sharp pain; I had put the knife against my neck. My hands were shaking and tears blurred my vision. I couldn't do it. It had gone against everything I used to believe it, when everything _hadn't_ gone wrong. I would take my life before the war did, but I still couldn't force my hand. My energy was dripping away with my blood. I was too weak.

There was one simple way. The Darren's were about to leave our trashed city. _Darren._ I had a fleeting thought about him. How he cheated on me, and then abandoned me, a year ago. He was long gone, probably still in America, happy with another girl.

I had made my decision. If my whole family was to die from the war, then I should follow in their league. There was no death, that was decent for my family but not for me. With the last bit of my energy I dragged myself in front of the oncoming vehicles.

For a second everything froze, and then pain exploded in the back of my mind. Darkness swam in my vision. I knew I was going to pass out and they were going to kill me. Satisfaction. I almost smiled if only had enough energy.

-Darren-

It was almost like the earth stopped spinning. Everyone watched Aleeysha hit the floor. We didn't kill her on sight because we were supposed have at least carnage as possible, because how could you rule a country when half of its population is dead? No one saw her as threat, because there was no way she could fend off all of us. But the _real_ reason no one killed her, was even through the dirt and grime her beauty shone through.

_Blood. _It was smeared all over her. Why hadn't I noticed before? Jacob's blow wouldn't leave her that bloody. She was hurt; and it was that notion that broke me out of my reverie. I got out of the vehicle and dropped on my knees. I took her hand; there was a dark red line across her wrists, and elbows. Blood seeped out from her thighs. Oh God, what has she done to herself?

I dropped her quickly and stood to my knees, backing away from her. It was all too much. What was she even doing her? Why had she cut herself? Was she suicidal? If I hadn't abandoned her, would I be able to save her? Was she with the Jordan's? Was it my fault? Was she even alive?

"Medics! We need medics for her now!" I panicked. I was backing away, still. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to see her here like this.

Something thumped me on the back. Jacob. He was always there to keep me grounded. "Hey, are you all right?"

"I—she's—is-?" I cleared my throat from the jumbled sentences. "She's going to live right?"

"I don't know, man. She lost a lot of blood. You know her?"

"Yeah."

Jacob looked slightly disturbed. "You were in love with a Jordan?"

"I didn't know she was a Jordan, we met in America. Who said I was in love with her?"

"It's all over your face. They're taking her to St. Jude-"

"Let's go." I didn't mean to interrupt, but I couldn't think straight, at the moment. Images of her broken bloody body kept on rising in my mind, contrasting sharply with my memories of her strong self.

-Aleeysha-

Antiseptic. I could smell it, I was in a hospital. I hate hospitals I realised with contempt; they were filled with too much hope and dread. Don't they realise that if they're in the hospital there isn't much to hope for?

My hand wrapped around the railing of the bed; the memory of a knife in my hand. How could they make me live? Couldn't they see I wanted to die? Stupid, stupid Darrens. No, you could never leave your job with the Darrens. I had to do this myself.

I couldn't get up. I was strapped into the bed. POW sparked in my mind; Prisoner Of War. I sighed; things would've been much easier if I had just slit my throat like I planned to. I had disappointed myself.

A nurse walked in. She sounded incredibly apologetic. "Sorry Ma'am. You just wouldn't stop thrashing. I was afraid you would hurt yourself."

"Please remove these restraints, I am much better thanks to your care" I kept my eyes on the plastic knife next to the plate of food on the table.

"I'm sorry Ma'am; I can't do that but the doctor will be here soon enough." She looked rather uncomfortable and left.

I banged my head into the headboard. Maybe I can cave in my scull.

"I wouldn't do that, unless you want another restraint around your head." The doctor arrived, I glared at him.

"I could see it took a lot of effort to sustain me. I had lost a lot of blood, a concussion, and the will to die. Why didn't you just kill me? You wouldn't be the first doctor I met who hid behind the excuse 'there was nothing you could do'. Not to mention, it wouldn't be hard to believe." I was being honest, and harsh.

"You're right; it took a lot of effort to save you. It'll be good on my record." He laughed casually, as if he only heard the first sentence. "Maybe I just want to know why you did this to yourself."

"I've got nothing to live for." I growled.

"Besides, they wouldn't let me. He cares a lot about you, you know."

His head tipped his head to the side at my reaction. "Who? The Darrens, oh great, that just proved it. I'm a POW."

"No actually, it was more on than all of them. Darren Valdez."

My head spun with confusion , surprise, and anger, remembering the last time he saw me.

"Hi, Aleeysha." A voice said from the door. The one and only, Darren Valdez.


	10. More than Anyone Knew

Chapter 10: More than Anyone Knew

-Aleeysha-

I didn't care who he was anymore. _He _abandoned me, and now he's keeping me alive, probably just to torture me. That look on his face is completely disgusting, like he actually cares. The faster I'm out of this place the better.

"Aleeysha?"

I focused on the corner of the room above everything. I was dimly aware of anything going on. I couldn't see anything or anyone anymore; because I didn't care about anything or anyone. My mind was filled with angry splatters of red, dull streaks of grey and black; my future in the world. All I could feel was a burning anger and withering despair. My mind was turmoil with emotion.

How can anything be good in the world? Maybe good things are given only to be taken away. The sweet flowers, the nice weather, and the nice people are just a visage meant to cover up everything so whatever does this to us can keep torturing us for a lifetime.

All I wanted to feel something destroyed in my hands. To everything inside me out, because if I don't, I will explode. I tried to sit, to grab something, but I had forgotten about the restraints. Then I felt pain at wrists; the restraints dug into them. It felt good, because focussing on this pain was better than any other one. In my limited state, I could fulfill the need to feel something destroyed in my hands. That thing would be me.

Warm pressure wrapped around me forearm. I could only guess it was someone's hand. I fought to keep tugging. It felt better as the restraint dug in deeper, as I felt the blood pour out. But then there was a prick in my arm. Thought…couldn—t think….clear. My s-sight…nothing. My t-thoughts… dddddiping. E-ev-ry thing dipping.

-Darren-

I have never been as scared for someone as I was when I watched Aleeysha. Her distant eyes leaking tears, staring up at nothing, not responding to anything or anyone; the desperation I saw when she fought against the restraints, not to escape but only to hurt herself. It terrified me because it was nothing like her. It was the opposite of the focused, self-respecting person I met in America. She was always the strong one people could depend on; I never believed anything could break her.

Yet there she was, as broken as I have ever seen anyone in my life, and I couldn't help but think I had something to do with this. I not that conceited as to think that I was the sole reason why she's in the state she's in but I have no doubt I contributed. As much as I would've loved to believed that I knew everything I needed to know about her, there was no denying that I truly didn't know as much as I should have. I never wanted to leave her the way I did; leaving mad with a secret, and no plan to come back. But now? I was burning with shame. I had no I idea what I meant to her and no idea how much she needed me to lighten her load, even if I didn't know. Mainly, no idea what she was going through, and the effect I would have if I left her. I was ruthless, cruel, selfish, and a jerk.

I don't know how I could ever try for another relationship with her because right now if I were her, I wouldn't want anything with me. It hurt knowing that the best thing for her was not fixing our relationship. There was no point now. There was no reason she would believe me, want to be with me, or go back to the ways things were supposed to be.

Tears sprung to my eyes. I couldn't swallow the lump in my throat. Shame like acid burned in the pit of my stomach. All of a sudden I was unstable—and angry. I had no idea what I was doing, but all of a sudden, it didn't seem fair. That she got to shut out the world while wallowed in the pit of grief she left me too.

"Don't you think I hurt too? Do you think you're the only one suffering?" I was almost shouting walking towards her briskly, tears streaming down my face. "After all we've been through, do you think I'd want to leave you like that?" The next thing I knew I was grabbing her shoulders, shaking her, trying to force her to reality.

-Aleeysha-

Everything was fuzzy. The world shook back and forth. I was being shaken. Words forced their way into my consciousness. "—Do you really thing I'd want to leave you like that! My da-" His voice caught. _Darren's_ voice caught.

He let go of me and started again, less mad more desperate and miserable. "My dad died, and that's when I got the message. I had to come home my broken family of me and my brother. A home I didn't know you knew about." He gasped, sobbing between words. "I joined the war. My brother—he died. I was a family of one. And I took it out on everyone who wasn't on my side of the war. You don't think I just want to leave the world in its mess of its own? I wouldn't leave my team in the war-"

I stopped listening. _War. War. War. War._ It was the only thing echoing through my mind. It destroyed EVERYTHING, it broke EVERYONE, and it was on NO ONE'S side but death. It kills EVERYTHING in its path. People help it. People want it. It horrified me, it scared me, and it disgusted me. The thought ripped through my throat in a scream. I screamed and screamed.


	11. Catonic

Chapter 11- Catonic

I hold her hand as I talk to her. It's been a while since that day- the day her screams ripped through the air. She'd been moved to the mental ward, and it terrified me. She's catatonic. They can't reach her, no one can. They believe that her depression caused her to shut herself out from the world. They don't say it, but it's there; they think she's better that way. Even she deserves a way out of her horrid life.

I don't know what to do. I stand in front of her, squeezing her hand, waiting. I don't know what's better; for her to live or die. I don't really know what happened to her. I can't really do anything to help her. No one really knows how she'll handle it when she wakes- if she wakes. Maybe it's better for her to be dead. The escape she's wanted since—I don't even know when. No one knows. No one knows anything. No one can do anything. The ball is in no one's court.

This never-ending debate has wormed its way through every aspect of my life. Tugging my heart in painful jerks as my mind plays with the possibilities. By every aspect of my life, I only mean one. War. It's the only thing that I really had in my life. Cold, angry bloodlust was the only thing I ever had. But at least it was my purpose. The sergeant heard about that day and let me go. I was "too unstable, unfit, and too out of control to care of anyone in the war." Now I'm listless, purposeless, pointless. Jacob still sends me reports of the war, but it's really not the same.

-Aleeysha-

The thunder boomed overhead. Rain poured in sheets. Lightening flashed in reigns of terror. Gunshots harmonized with the patters of rain. Explosions mocked thunder. Rain water runs red. This is war.

My poor sister and brother couldn't stop wailing. They were only five and six years old and they couldn't understand anything. Why we can't mommy wake up? They screamed over and over again through the pandemonium. She was the first casualty on the first night our city was under siege.

-Darren-

They were feeding her through tubes. _Tubes_. If I knew this how I was going to see her a year ago, I would've done things differently. Would whatever I did make a difference? Well I guess it doesn't matter now.

-Aleeysha-

It was my birthday. I went back to my home in Daith City to celebrate it with the rest of my family. I was home before my mom was and when it was time for her to come home I waited on the porch. A car dropped her home and her dazzling smile brightened all her features as she walked up the driveway.

_Pop! Pop! Pop!_ Momentarily I was distracted by the loud noise. It struck me with familiarity that nausea rolled over me. Gunshots, which meant bullets, like the ones that almost killed Darren. The thought had grudgingly risen from my memories.

Then I snapped back to reality. As I watched the women I waited to see for two years stagger to her knees. Blood stood out to me like red in a sea of black and white. Blood oozed from her head and chest. I screamed for help. Gunshots rang through the air, over my screams. I dragged her inside my home.

It was the first day of war.

* * *

A/N- srry it's short. it's all i can think of for now.

-nell


End file.
